Ghost
by WhiteRabbit52
Summary: Sakura dies in a car accident and Sasuke is left dealing with her death in a unique, probably very unhealthy way. Sasusaku. AU. Kind of a sequel to Muse but you can still understand this story if you haven't read that story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: This is sort of a sequel to another fic I wrote called Muse but I think I wrote it in a way that, even if you haven't read that story, you'll still understand what's going on. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

Sasuke wore his suit like a black cloud. He sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands and his tie still undone. His eyes were closed and his back was hunched.

Naruto walked through the door and saw him. He looked like a shell of a man. He looked empty, hollow and useless. To some extent, it unnerved Naruto. He had never seen Sasuke like this and it scared him.

"Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice echoing slightly in the hollowness of the room.

He looked up. His onyx eyes were blood shot and he looked sickly pale. He looked like he wanted to throw up.

"The funeral is going to start soon," Naruto muttered, almost unwilling to break the silence of the room, "Are you ready."

Sasuke nodded mutely and nimbly tied his tie. He stood up and followed Naruto out of his apartment.

"We can take my car, if you want?" Naruto said.

But Sasuke shook his head and said, "I'd rather take my own car."

Naruto frowned. He was worried about why Sasuke wanted to take his own car and wondered if it was because he would want to leave the funeral early or not go at all. It had been extremely difficult to get Sasuke out of his bed this morning and it was even worse trying to get him to change into his sombre black suit.

Naruto hadn't known Sasuke that well before she died but now he felt like he was responsible for Sasuke just as much as Sasuke felt Naruto was responsible for her death. Naruto was the one who switched off the machines that were keeping Sakura alive after she got hit by that car.

Sasuke followed Naruto out of the apartment to their different cars. Naruto opened his door and looked at Sasuke then said, "See you there."

"Hn," Sasuke muttered in response as he climbed into his car.

He remained there, clutching the wheel, long after Naruto had driven past. He leaned his forehead against the rim and closed his eyes. He didn't want to go to the funeral. He didn't even want there to _be _a funeral. He could taste something dead in his mouth. He hadn't slept in days and the fatigue was beginning to show.

"_Are you not even going to go to my funeral?" _

Sasuke opened his eyes, "I'll go…"

"_Then what are you still doing in the drive way." _

Sasuke remained silent, pressing his lips into a hard, long line.

"_Sasuke…" _

He felt fingertips brush the side of his face then he sat up abruptly, breaking contact, and, furiously wiping his eyes, turned the key in the ignition and drove away. He drove to the funeral. It was taking place in a cemetery and Sasuke hated the idea of her lying in the ground with strangers next to her. He wanted her to be with him. She was supposed to be with him.

Why did she have to die?

For a long time, Sasuke didn't accept it. He barely accepted it now. When Naruto switched off those machines, it was like he switched Sasuke off too.

When Sasuke got to the cemetery, he parked the car but still sat in it for a while. He watched the other people attending her funeral walk past his car to the place where her body would soon be laid to rest. Sasuke narrowed his eyes when he saw other people cry. He couldn't do it. He couldn't cry. He had tried but it hadn't worked. Sasuke Uchiha did not cry.

He sighed and leaned forward, rummaging under his seat till he found a small plastic bag. He ripped it open and poured the white powder on to his palm. He quickly inhaled it through his nostrils. Rubbing his itching nose, he pulled some pills out of his coat pocket and downed them with some water. He felt the world sway then grow gray and numb until finally he felt like he could handle it. He felt like he would be able to go to her funeral.

"_Why do you need the drugs? Sasuke? You're just hurting yourself." _

Sasuke closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, "That's the point."

"_Please…" _

He looked at her. He touched her face and said, "You're so much more real to me when I'm stoned."

Then he wrenched his hand away, opened the door and got out of the car. He walked up the small hill to where he could see Naruto. He didn't know anyone else at the funeral.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said when he approached.

"Hn."

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked grimly.

"I'm fine," Sasuke snapped but Naruto frowned, looking into Sasuke's eyes.

"Are you high?" Naruto asked suddenly.

Sasuke looked away, "No."

Naruto shook his head, "I can't believe this. I can't fucking believe that you are fucked out of your fucking mind at a fucking funeral."

When Sasuke didn't answer, Naruto continued, "This is _her _funeral, Sasuke. I thought you'd have more respect for her than this."

Sasuke still wouldn't speak. He felt uncomfortably numb while colours pulsated in and out of his tunnel vision.

"I thought you stopped using drugs after you met her."

Sasuke glared at him, "I did and then she died."

Naruto stopped talking after that. He led the unsteady Sasuke to the chairs that were placed in an aisle to what would soon be her grave. He made Sasuke sit right in front where he could see her where her grave was cut into the ground. It made Sasuke feel uncomfortable to be so close to it. He didn't want to look at it because it made the whole thing so painfully real.

The seat next to Sasuke remained empty and he could see her there, sitting next to him. She held his hand on his lap and made him feel less empty.

Everyone looked around when they started carrying her coffin down the aisle, everyone except Sasuke. He focused on the hand that he believed was holding his. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel the warmth from her palm and it made him feel like she was really there.

He opened his eyes when some pastor stood up to speak over her coffin. Sasuke didn't hear a word of it. His eyes remained open and glassy even when Naruto was reduced to tears. In his mind, she was right next to him and not in the coffin that was about to be put in the ground.

He was only brought back to reality when a tear-stained Naruto touched his arm. Sasuke looked up and was surprised that everyone was looking at him with their eyes bloodshot from crying.

"What?" Sasuke snapped rudely. He could see that some people were taken aback from his attitude but he didn't care.

"They want to know if you want to say anything," Naruto said.

Sasuke shook his head, "Why?"

"Because… you were the man she loved."

"I was?" Sasuke asked.

Everyone looked at him, startled. They didn't understand. She would've understood. She would've said something that covered up his awkward mistake with some silly remark. He hadn't meant that he was never the man she loved. He had simply thrown off by the fact that everyone was using past tense for her already. He frowned, his forehead furrowing. He wanted to leave. He wanted to go home.

He stood up suddenly, feeling the imaginary hand slip through his fingers.

"Sasuke, where are you going?" Naruto called after him but Sasuke was already long gone. He climbed into his car, fully aware that he shouldn't be driving. He started his car and drove away. He would never know how he got to her apartment with his life. He swerved all over the street and when he came to her building, he bumped into the wall.

He stumbled out of his car and, ignoring everything and everyone around him, walked up the stairs to her apartment.

He hadn't been there since she died. It was locked but he shouldered his way into it. He looked around, staring at all the photos on her wall. He walked to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed with his eyes closed.

He could still smell her scent on her blankets. It was that soft flowery scent that he had actually gotten used to after they met but now it was all he could think about. He closed his eyes, wishing he could die there.

"_Sasuke..?" _

He looked around and he could see her, lying next to him on the bed like she used to when she was still alive. He reached over and touched her. He could feel her porcelain flesh beneath his fingertips.

"You're not real," Sasuke said almost painfully, "You're not really here. You died."

She smiled and stroked his cheek. He captured her hand and held it there.

"Why did you have to die?" Sasuke said.

She blinked.

He leaned his forehead against hers, "I don't understand. Why can I still see you?"

"_Maybe you're going insane." _

Sasuke smiled at this, "It would be a relief."

"_Or maybe you can see me because I'm real."_

He frowned, "but you died."

"_I'm still real." _

Sasuke looked at her, "Of course you're real. You're mine."

He enfolded her in his arms, "I love you, did you know that. I never told you… when you were alive. I should've. I should have told you every day but instead I let you believe that you meant nothing to me. You mean everything to me. _Everything."_

He breathed in deeply before continuing, "I think… I think I'm going to stay like this for as long as I have to. You're so real when I'm high. You're completely real. I still can't believe you're real."

He buried his face in the nape of her neck, "I love you so much, Sakura."

"Sasuke?"

His eyes snapped open when he heard Naruto's voice. He sat up and saw Naruto by the door.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke said, his vision was blurry.

"Who were you talking to?"

Sasuke didn't answer. He looked back and saw that Sakura was gone. He blinked, rubbing his eyes.

"Sasuke… do you still see her?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"What? No!" Sasuke laughed hollowly, "That would be crazy!"

"Sasuke, promise me that you'll take care of yourself."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I'm fine."

"No, Sasuke, I'm serious. I'm really worried about you."

Sasuke looked away, "Leave me alone, Naruto."

Naruto looked at Sasuke for a long time then left the room and closed the door but Sasuke knew that he didn't leave the apartment. Sasuke didn't care because when he looked to his side, Sakura was back. She smiled with her pale lips likes parting rose petals and her skin like tactile porcelain. Sasuke didn't speak. He just looked at, marvelling at how she real she was to him.

**a/n: idk. Thanks for reading. Please review and stuff. Or not. That's okay too. **


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke walked down the street at night with his hands deep in his pockets. He turned into an alleyway and at the very end of it, he found a man.

Sasuke knew this man. He knew his name and he knew what he sold. Sasuke lifted his hand when he saw him and rubbed his two fingers together. The man looked up, his mouth twisting into a smile.

"Hello, Sasuke" Orochimaru grinned, licking his lips in that snake-like way he had.

"What do you have tonight?" Sasuke asked.

"Everything," he said, his lips forming every syllable.

Sasuke looked at him, "I don't want to play games. Just tell me what you have."

Orochimaru shrugged, "Crack, LSD, MNDA, heroin-,"

"Heroin?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes. Heroin, Sasuke, it's a drug you inject into your veins."

Sasuke scowled, "I know what Heroin is."

"Do you want some?"

Sasuke shrugged, "Yeah, why not."

He exchanged the heroin for hard, cold cash and when they were finished in their business, Orochimaru took out a gun.

Sasuke looked at him without a change of expression, "Are you going to shoot me?"

"Relax," Orochimaru said even though Sasuke hadn't even flinched, "I want to sell it to you."

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"For rainbows and happiness," Orochimaru bit sarcastically, "For money, idiot."

Sasuke looked at the gun then asked, "Does it have bullets."

"Only if you buy those from me."

"Okay. Why not?" Sasuke said again.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and a small tug at his heart. He could see Sakura next to him, her green eyes wide with concern.

"_Please don't do this." _She said in a voice like melted gold.

Sasuke sighed and whispered, "Are you going to be my fucking conscience now?"

"Who are you talking to?" Orochimaru asked.

"No one," Sasuke snapped, gave him the money and took the gun.

Two hours later, he was in his apartment injecting Heroin in to his veins. Sakura was there the whole time, begging him not to do it and as he was injecting the drug into his system he was sitting on a chair and her hand was rested on his lap as she knelt on floor. When he was finished, he stroked her pink hair as the drug went rocketing through his body, attacking his mind.

"I have to do this, Sakura," He said sadly, "When I'm high, you're here. It's like you're solid and real and I can touch you. It's like you never died."

She looked up at him, her eyes were shining with half suppressed tears, "You're going mad, Sasuke-kun,"

He grabbed her pink hair in an angry fist and made her look at him,

"I'm fine," He said angrily.

She started cry and that only served to fuel his anger. He pushed her away and she fell to the floor. He stood up and walked over her, towards the gun. He gripped it in his slender fingers and look at it. It was beautiful, with it's still burning like ice in his palm. He slowly, cautiously, put the bullets he had bought from Orochimaru inside it and rubbed the barrel of a loaded gun up and down his skull.

He looked back at the place where he had left Sakura on the floor. He wanted to apologise. For everything. He had never been good for her. He always dragged her down with him. It was his fault that she had died, not Naruto's for switching off the machines. It was his fault. He wanted to make her forgive him, like she had so many times in the past but when he cast his onyx eyes in her direction he found that she wasn't there.

Suddenly, his mouth was dry and he quickly realised that he was panicking. He looked around for her wildly.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and, his breath quickening, Sasuke went to open the door.

"Sakura?" He shouted when he tore the door open only to find Naruto looking at him with a confused expression on his face.

"No…" He said slowly, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Sasuke snapped and tried to slam the door in Naruto's face but he grabbed the door before he could.

"Sasuke, is that a gun?" Naruto asked, looking at the object in Sasuke's hand.

Sasuke paled, "No."

Naruto ignored him and said, "Where did you get it? Is it loaded?"

"No. Fuck off, Naruto," Sasuke lied.

Naruto didn't believe a word and pushed himself through the door, "Sasuke I'm just here to help."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Does it look like I need your help?"

"Yes," Naruto laughed, "Look at you. You're holding a gun and, if I'm not mistaken, you're tripping on cocaine again."

Sasuke laughed manically, "You're wrong! You're so wrong!"

"How am I wrong?" Naruto said with raised eye brows.

"It's not cocaine, it's heroin," Sasuke said like it made all the difference in the world.

There was silence for a while before Naruto said, "Heroin? Are you serious."

"Yep," Sasuke said.

He walked back to the room, looking for Sakura. He opened the cupboard, looked under the table and even poked his head out the window to see if she was out on the street.

"Sasuke, who are you looking for?" Naruto asked.

Distracted, Sasuke answered, "Sakura."

"She's not here, Sasuke."

"No. You don't understand. She was right here." He pointed to where she had been on the floor. He looked at it intently as if she would reappear.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked and when Sasuke didn't answered he spoke again, "Do you still see her?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto and said, "All the time."

Naruto didn't know what to say. Sasuke broke eye contact with him and continued to look around for Sakura.

"You know she's dead, right," Naruto said bluntly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Yes, I know."

"Then why do you still see her?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's her ghost. Maybe I'm going crazy. Maybe… where the hell is she?"

"Sasuke, put down the gun."

"Don't worry. It's okay."

"No. Please. Sasuke, put down the gun."

"Why?"

"Just put down the fucking gun. Let's just talk about this?'

"WHY?"

"Please don't do this. There are people who can help you. You don't have to do this."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Sasuke… please don't kill yourself."

It was only then that Sasuke realised he had the gun pressed to the side of his head. He removed it and looked down at the gun curled in his hand.

He looked up at Naruto, "I-I need her, Naruto."

"I know, Sasuke. I know but she's gone. You have to accept that."

Sasuke shook his head, looking down and said, "No. No. I need her. I NEED HER NOW!"

He pointed the gun at Naruto who dropped to the ground just before Sasuke pulled the trigger, empting the loaded gun in to the wall. Plaster flew everywhere and when Sasuke was finished, his breathed hard.

"_Sasuke?"_

He instantly calmed down when he felt a small, warm body hug him from behind. He let his hand drop and the gun fell, useless, to the floor with a clattering sound.

"Don't… please… don't leave again."

He felt her bury her head into his back and he felt like something had fallen into place.

"_I promise. I'm sorry." _

"I'm sorry too, Sakura. I'm so sorry. For everything."

"_I know. It's okay. I forgive you. I always forgive you." _

"Thank you."

Naruto looked up at Sasuke and saw him talking to himself. He shook his head, bit his lip and finally realised with complete and utter certainty that Sasuke Uchiha had gone insane.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

Sakura and Sasuke lay facing each other on the bed with their forehead's touching as they looked at one another. Sasuke's hand drifted across her face and he ran his knuckles up and down her cheek. When he leaned forward, he could feel her soft lips respond to his.

When she pulled away, she looked at him again, rubbing her thumb beneath his eye.

"Why are you crying?" She asked in a voice no more than a whisper.

"I'm not crying," Sasuke said clearly.

Sakura put her hand on his cheek and Sasuke held it there, his own large hand dominating hers. He could feel the warmth of her palm ebb on to his cheek. He moved towards her, close enough for their chest to touch. He buried his face into the nape of her neck and lay there, breathing in the flowery scent from her flesh.

"You're real. I know you're real. You're not a ghost or a figment of my imagination. You're real."

Sakura tried to shift away from Sasuke but he held her more tightly so she couldn't get away. She laughed as she ran her fingers through his raven locks.

"How can you be so sure?" She asked with a tainted voice.

He looked up at her, "I just know these things."

"Sasuke, I died, remember?" She said softly.

"No," He said and buried his face into her skin again.

"What if you're just here by yourself?" Sakura said.

Sasuke tensed, "Don't say that."

"But it's true," Sakura said sadly, "You could just be here, all by yourself."

When Sasuke didn't say anything, Sakura continued,

"What if you're all alone, talking to yourself?" She whispered and grinned. Her hands drifted down his muscled stomach and unbuttoned his pants. She smiled coyly as she said, "What if you're all alone and you're just touching yourself?"

Sasuke smiled when her hand slid further into his pants. She pressed her warm body against his and felt him grown hard against her thigh. She stopped for a moment, looking down sadly.

"You took enough Heroin to knock out a horse." She muttered.

Sasuke looked at her, "So?"

"So, you're probably not even moving now. You're probably just dreaming."

Sasuke smirked when she said this and said, "Then, let me never wake up. I belong here, with you. Only with you."

He moved towards her so he could kiss but she shifted out of the way. He looked at her pleadingly,

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not here, Sasuke. I died. Why can't you understand that?"

He blinked, "I understand it."

"Do you?" She snapped.

"Come on, Sakura. Don't be annoying."

"You need you let me go."

"That would be a terrible idea."

She glared at him, "Why?"

He sighed. He knew she wouldn't let him run away from this. He moved away from her so he could look into her emerald eyes.

"Okay, look. If I let you go then I'll be finally admitting that you died."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "I did die."

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped, "If I actually moved on, then I would feel guilty for letting you go. I don't want to let you go. I want it to be like you never died."

"That makes no sense, Sasuke," She said.

"I don't care." He snapped.

He moved quickly, his hands moving deftly up her shirt to her breasts. He moved on top of her swiftly then began to kiss her neck.

"Are we seriously going to do this?" She asked, "You're dreaming and I'm dead. It's a bit twisted."

Sasuke shrugged, "Let me dream, okay?"

Sakura sighed, "Okay."

He ran his hands up and down her sides, kissing her neck and hearing her gasp. He smiled and his lips moved against her skin, making her laugh from being tickled.

Suddenly, she rolled him over and straddled him. He looked up at her, mesmerized by her hair falling in front of her eyes. She removed his shirt then let her fingertips drift of his muscled torso. She began to mutter something that Sasuke couldn't hear.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Counting," She answered simply.

He smirked, "What are you counting?"

"Your scars."

"Oh."

He remained silent as her fingers drifted over his scars. Some were white, others a darker brown and then there were a few that were a thick, purple colour that sunk deep into his flesh with an oily texture.

"You have so many," Sakura muttered as if it broke her heart to notice that.

Sasuke shrugged, "I was an angry kid. I used to punch things when I got mad. I used to get into a lot of fights."

Sakura looked at him, "You're an angry adult too."

He didn't say anything. He just looked at her as she moved up his arm, counting his scars and pressing her lips against his bicep. When she got to his neck, she kissed his jawline before pressing her lips against his. She kissed him and her tongue softly licked his lower lips. Her entire body moved against his and she ran her fingers through his hair. He held onto her thin waist, hugging her even closer to him.

When Sakura moved away she sighed and said, "Shit, I lost count."

Sasuke laughed, "You were at eleven," He whispered in her ear.

She was so very precious to him. Even more now that she was dead, for some reason. These moments, when he was drugged to a comatose state, were so dear to him because he could feel them starting to dim as he began to forget her. It started slowly but now he realised that her face was just slightly off, her scent not quite as potent and her eyes just the wrong shade of green. Slowly, she was just becoming just a name, an idea of a girl he used to know. In the back of his mind, he knew she wasn't real anymore.

He moved his arms even tighter around her as if he could anchor her there. He didn't want to let her go, mentally or physically. A part of him truly wanted to simply go mad so he would never have to be the Sasuke who didn't love Sakura.

"Are we going to bang or not?" Sakura asked suddenly after he hadn't moved a muscle in over a minute.

Sasuke shook his head, "I don't feel like it anymore."

Sakura frowned, "Did I do something wrong?"

Sasuke felt something lodge in his throat, "No. No, of course not. You're perfect."

She looked at him, "Sasuke, why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying?"

She smiled sadly at him and kissed him again but inside the bitter kiss, Sasuke could taste kiss.

"Can we just be here? For awhile?" He asked.

Sakura laughed, "You're such a girl, Sasuke!"

"Shut up! I can't believe you just called me a girl!" He said and pushed her away.

She laughed loudly and climbed back on top of him, "I can call you anything I want!"

"And if I refuse?" Sasuke asked.

She pouted, an expression that Sasuke thought was adorable. Suddenly the mood dropped, in the wallowing silence. Sasuke looked at her, trying desperately to hold on to the details of her face.

"You know I love you right? I love you so much," He said.

Sakura blinked, "No. I don't know. You never told me."

"I'm telling you now."

"Yes, now. After I died, Sasuke. You only ever told me that you loved me when I couldn't answer back."

She looked at him, "That's so like you. You only love people after they die because then you can mourn them, then you can revenge them."

"Shut up," Sasuke hissed, "Just be quiet."

Sakura smiled wickedly. A deadly smile that the real Sakura never would've given Sasuke.  
"Why should I? It's true," She leaned in close to his ear, "And everybody I'm dead because of you."

Sasuke gripped her by the shoulders and threw her roughly on the bed, trapping her beneath his own body, "Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted you to die?"

"In your own twisted Sasuke way, I think that's exactly what you wanted."

"You're wrong."

Sakura laughed manaically, "I'm a figment of your imagination, Sasuke. I'm your dream, I'm your ghost. Everything that I say is trapped somewhere in your head. I'm not Sakura anymore, Sasuke. I'm just an extension of yourself now."

"Stop it!"

"I can't!"

"Please, Sakura. Just tell me that you know I love you. That's all I need. I don't need you to love me back. I just need you to know that I love you."

Sakura burst out laughing. Sasuke could feel her trembling with laughter beneath him. She laughed until tears came to her eyes.

"How? Sasuke, please, tell me how am I supposed to know that? I'm fricken dead. I'm a fucking ghost and you can scream, you can beg and you can plead but I will never, never ever, know that you love me. Not now. Not ever."

Sasuke's face fell and didn't move or say a word until he felt her fingers move through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry I died."

He looked up at her, "I don't want to let you go."

"I know."

There was a moment of silence before Sakura spoke again. Her voice was thick like she might cry.

"But one day, you will. One day, you'll wake up and I'll just be a bad memory. One day, you won't even be able to picture my face and that's the day I will truly die."

**A/n: Thanks for review, you guys. MOAR. Also, for the ending of this fic, I've decided to give you guys a choice. Either, you can have a sort of anti-climatic happy ending or an ending so sad, it'll kick your feels in the balls. **

**The choice is yours. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

Sasuke woke up alone. He stumbled out of bed, unable to shake the groggy and sick feeling that washed over him. He couldn't move his body exactly the way he wanted to. He could feel himself deteriorating into his skeleton but the feeling made him smile.

He liked to think that he was dying. He liked the idea of not living far into the future. He had never imagined himself as an old man and Sakura's death had made him realise why.

After he took a shower, he felt slightly better. He had some coffee and was even able to choke down some breakfast before Naruto burst through his door.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked him coldly.

"You're going to therapy today," Naruto answered.

Sasuke looked at him like he had gone insane.

"No, I'm not."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yes you are. Even if I have to drag you down to that shrink myself."

"I'll knock your teeth back into your skull if you touch me," Sasuke said.

"I thought you might act like this, so I brought help." Naruto said, smiling, as Kakashi walked through the door.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "Kakashi."

"Hello, Sasuke. It's good to see you. How have you been?"

"Apparently, I've been going insane," Sasuke said.

"Happens to the best of us," Kakashi said, "But don't worry, we're here to help you."

Sasuke slammed his fists on the table, "I don't need your help!"

"Sasuke, when are you going to realise that you are not okay?" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke leaned back, folding his arms, "I'm fine."

"We can see you're not okay, Sasuke," Kakashi said.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the table, standing up,

"You two can go fuck yourselves." He sneered and began to walk away.

"GET HIM!" Naruto yelled and Kakashi tackled Sasuke.

He fell to the floor with heavy thud and Kakashi dragged him across the floor. Sasuke kicked Kakashi in the face, making his nose bleed, until he let go of him. Sasuke stood up and was in the process of brushing himself off when Naruto grabbed him and began to hurl him to his car.

"What the fuck? LET GO OF ME NARUTO!" Sasuke yelled all the way down to the car. Kakashi helped restrain the Uchiha as they shoved him through the car door.

"I'm going to kill you," Sasuke said with true hatred in his heart as they drove away. Naruto laughed nervously, hoping that Sasuke was just joking.

The therapist had her office in a high-tech building. Naruto said she was the best but Sasuke honestly couldn't care less. Before long, Sasuke found himself slouching in his office glaring silently at the blonde woman in pigtails.

"Your friends are worried about you," Tsunade said.

"Hn," Sasuke said.

"I see you're not the talkative type. I was just saying that your friends-,"

Sasuke interrupted her, "They're not my friends."

"They care about you, Sasuke."

"If they cared about me, they'd just leave me alone."

"So you could what?" She said, cocking her head, "Self-destruct?"

Sasuke looked away from her.

She sighed, "Naruto told me about what happened to Sakura."

Sasuke clenched his fists on his lap, his nails biting into his palms. He kept his gaze away from her as irritation bit away at him, making him mad. Suddenly, Sakura was there, sitting by his feet with her cheek resting against his thigh. Instinctively, Sasuke played with her cherry blossom hair.

"Naruto told me that you said that you still see her… all the time," Tsunade said.

Sasuke didn't say anything but continued to play with Sakura's hair.

"Is she here with you now?"

Sasuke looked up, finally making eye contact with the therapist. He opened his mouth but then Sakura looked up at him, distracting him and making him look at her instead.

"Don't tell her anything," Sakura warned, "They'll take me away from you."

Sasuke wanted to tell her that no one could do that but he couldn't speak to her without looking completely insane. He knew Tsunade couldn't see Sakura like he could.

"No. I don't see her," Sasuke said.

Tsunade laughed, "Liar."

There was silence for a while before Tsuande spoke again,

"I've been trained for this, you see. This is your own twisted way of dealing with your grief."

"I'm not grieving."

"Oh, exactly," Tsunade said, "You're still in denial and there's four more stages you have to go through."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Please don't go through all that 'five stages of grief' crap."

Tsuande only smirked, "You still have anger, bargaining and depression to go through before you finally hit acceptance."

"What if I don't want to accept it? Did you think about that?" Sasuke snapped.

"Why don't you want to accept Sakura'a death?"

Sasuke looked away, falling silent again.

"What's so terrible about moving on with your life, Sasuke?" Tsunade asked.

Sasuke didn't look at her but he said, "There's nothing left."

Tsunade remained stoic as she said, "You're parents are dead and your brother died a few years ago, is that right?"

Sasuke nodded.

"I see. So you feel like everyone you have ever loved has left you."

Sasuke's face became grim but he didn't answer.

"I'm not going to bullshit you, Sasuke. People die. I realise that you have an unusual amount of tragedy in your life and I am deeply sorry for that but you can't let these people's deaths define who you are."

Sasuke looked up at her, glaring, "Have you ever lost anyone?"

"Yes," She answered smoothly, "My younger brother and my boyfriend both died. I understand how you feel, Sasuke. I know I would do anything to see them again but the Sakura you're seeing isn't real."

Sakura gripped Sasuke's leg, "She's lying to you, Sasuke. You have to get out of here. YOU CAN'T TRUST HER! SHE'LL TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU!"

Sakura was standing behind Sasuke now. He hadn't even seen her move. She had both her hands placed on his shoulders, glaring at Tsunade.

"If you let this delusion of Sakura get out of control, she'll kill you."  
"Don't listen to her, Sasuke. I would never hurt you." Sakura said.

Sasuke blinked. He could feel a migraine coming on. He stood up and said, "I have to leave."

"Our session isn't over yet," Tsunade said.

"Come one, Sasuke. Come with me. Let's go home. It'll just be me and you." Sakura begged him.

Sasuke looked from Sakura to Tsuande and back again.

"Who are you looking at, Sasuke?" Tsunade said, "Is she here with you now?"

Sasuke looked back at Sakura who shook her head violently.

"Sasuke, just leave with me," She said, holding out her hand.

He looked back to Tsunade, "What do you mean, she'll kill me?"

"You have a self-destructing personality. That much is clear. If you continue to indulge in this fantasy of Sakura's ghost, she could take you to wherever she is now."

"SASUKE PLEASE!" Sakura screamed, making Sasuke look back at her. He saw that she was crying. He hated it when she cried.

"I really have to go," He mumbled.

"Wait, Sasuke," Tsunade said and stood up. She walked to her desk and scrawled something on a piece of paper than shoved it in his hands.

"What is this?" he sneered.

"This is my own personal number. If you're ever in trouble, please don't hesitate to call me."

"Hn," Sasuke said uninterestedly but he pocketed it anyway. Then he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.

He was glad that Naruto or Kakashi wasn't there when he got out because they would have forced him back into the therapist's office. He walked home. It was a long way to walk but he was glad he had the time to clear his head. His thoughts raced back and forth but kept on returning to the same place: Sakura.

When he finally got home, she was sitting on his couch. She looked up when he entered and watched silently as he removed his jacket and put it on the coat rack. He walked towards her and sat next to her, letting her curl around him with her head on his shoulder.

"You're not going to send me away?" She asked.

He kissed her forehead, "No, I'm not sending you away."

She clenched his shirt in her fists in an effort to get even closer to him. Their foreheads were pressed together and every now and then, Sasuke would caress her cheek with a kiss.

"You… you wouldn't destroy me, right?" Sasuke asked, surprised at how nervous he was.

Sakura smiled, "Of course not, Sasuke-kun."

He closed his eyes and breathed, "Good."

"You're going to destroy yourself."

Sasuke eyes snapped open, "What did you say?"

"You are self-destructing. Any idiot could see that."

Sasuke gripped her hair, moving away from her, "Please, just shut up."

"Do you even want me here?" She said.

"What?" Sasuke said angrily, "Of course I want you here."

"Are you sure? It would be less effort if you just stopped imagining me everywhere."

"What are you saying, Sakura? You're not making sense! I'm not imagining you. You're real!"

He had his hands placed on either side of her head, forcing her to look at him. Her face crumpled and she began to cry again, infuriating Sasuke further.

"You're so annoying," He glared.

"I'm sor-,"

"Shut up!" He yelled, "I can't believe you're not real! After all we've been through together? You're just going to give up because you died?"

Sasuke could hear himself, in the back of his head, and even he admitted that he sounded insane. He didn't want to look at her anymore. He stood up and walked to his bathroom. He slammed the door and stared at himself in the mirror. He was a mess. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was porcelain pale. His lips were cracked and bleeding and his hair was a mattered mess.

He looked at his reflection and hated himself but, even more, he hated her. He hated her for dying. He hated her for the lies she spoke now. He hated her pink hair, her billboard brow and her stupid perfect skin that now rotted, eaten by maggots, in the ground. He hated her so much.

Suddenly, he punched the mirror and shattered it on impact. He stepped back, looking at his bleeding fist. He breathed heavily as if he had just run away very fast.

Anger.

He sat down against the bathroom wall with his head in his hands, pulling at his hair violently.

He hated her because she made him miss her.

**a/n: That chapter kind of got away from me and morphed into some new. Oh well, hope you liked it. Review or die. Those are your options. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

Sasuke was asleep on his bed, alone, truly alone. Sakura was nowhere to be seen. The blankets were tangled around and Sasuke slept shirtless, his bare chest rose and fell restfully. He woke up and ran a tried hand through his raven hair.

He lay there for a moment. He remembered the days when he would always wake up with Sakura next to him. She would always roll over and hit him or kick him in her sleep. It annoyed Sasuke how much he actually missed that. He missed her scent on his pillows and the way she slept with her mouth slightly open. He even missed the way she used to wake up and complain about his snoring. He even missed her snoring.

Sasuke stood up, untangling himself from his bed sheets and stumbled into the bathroom where he quickly took a shower and got ready for the day. When he was finished, dressed from head to toe in a smart, black suit, he realised that he had no where he had to go.

He sat down on the couch and loosened his tie. He looked at the clock and saw that it was only eight o'clock in the morning. He put his head in his hands. He wanted to go back to sleep.

Then his phone rang. He frowned, looking over to his home phone that made the loud, shrilling noise. He followed the telephone cord with his eyes and saw that he had plugged it out from the wall a long time ago. Hesitant, he picked it up.

"Hello?" He said.

He could hear breathing on the other end of the line but it was a long time before a voice answered him,

"Sasuke?"

"Sakura? Why are you calling me?"

"Sasuke, there's something wrong?" She said and Sasuke could hear fear in her voice.

"Where are you, Sakura? Why aren't you here?"

"There's something wrong," She repeated.

"Tell me what's wrong. I can fix it," Sasuke said.

"No, you can't."

"I can try."

"I never told you. I didn't even know."

"Sakura, you're scaring me. Just tell me."

"There's something wrong," She repeated.

"With what?"

"With the baby."

Sasuke didn't speak for a long time. He gripped the phone tightly,

"What baby?"

"Our baby." She said and Sasuke could hear her voice break over the phone.

"Y-you weren't…" He muttered, his voice shook violently.

"I didn't know. I swear I didn't know."

Sasuke couldn't speak. He felt sick.

"Sasuke… I'm sorry." She said softly.

He breathed in shakily and said, "It's okay. It's okay. Please. Please, come here. I'll come get you. Tell me where you are."

"You can't come fetch me. I don't want you to."

"Why not?" Sasuke snapped, "Why can't I come to where you are?"

"Because you'd have to die first." She said sadly, "I don't want you to die."

"I don't mind," Sasuke admitted casually, "I could do it."

"You would kill yourself for me?"

"I would do anything for you."

There was silence at the other end of the call. Sasuke closed his eyes and listened to her breathing.

"Please," He said, "Just tell me what I have to do to get you back. I'll do anything. _Anything." _

There was a click as Sakura hung up. Sasuke stared at the phone for a long time then he swiftly stood up and plugged the telephone line back into the wall. He dialled Naruto's number.

Naruto was eating chips when he answered and Sasuke could hear him chewing.

"Hello?" Said Naruto.

"Naruto," Sasuke said briefly.

Naruto coughed in surprise, "Sasuke! Are you okay?"

"Was Sakura pregnant?"

"What?" Naruto said, "Where did you hear that?"

"Just tell me. Was Sakura pregnant?"

"Um, I… Sasuke-,"

"WAS SAKURA PREGNANT?" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto breathed then said, 'Yes, she was."

Sasuke dropped his head in his hands, still gripping the phone, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Nobody knew. Sakura probably didn't even know. She was only four weeks pregnant when she died."

Sasuke flinched, "But you knew."

"They found out when she was in a coma. I didn't want anyone to tell you in case…"

"In case she didn't wake up," Sasuke finished for him.

There was silence for a while before Naruto said, "I'm sorry, Sasuke."

Sasuke laughed bitterly, "Its fine. It doesn't matter. What does it matter if I add one more person to the list of people I've already lost?"

"Sasuke…"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine. Everything is in its right place. Nothing hurts."

"Do you want to come over or something?" Naruto asked.

"believe me, Naruto," Sasuke said, "That is the very last thing I want to do."

With that, he hung up the phone. He was motionless for a long time then he stood up and walked to the kitchen. He was in the progress of making himself some coffee when he heard a voice.

"Daddy?"

He froze. He didn't want to turn around. He didn't want to see.

"Daddy! Come play with me!"

He breathed in deeply, shaking slightly. He felt a small hand tug at his sleeve and slowly turned around and saw the small girl. Her skin was as pale as his and her hair was long and black but she had Sakura's emerald eyes. She smiled widely, showing the gaps between her baby teeth.

"Daddy? Are you okay?"

Sasuke breathed in harshly, "I'm fine, sweetie."

She grinned, "Come play with me and mommy."

Sasuke let the small girl pull him into the living room where Sakura was sitting on a picnic blanket. Suddenly they were outside, in a park. Sasuke couldn't remember getting there. He didn't care. He just sat down next to Sakura, kissing her gently on the lips. He placed a hand on her cheek and looked into her eyes.

"You're not angry with me?" She asked.

"Why would I be angry with you?"

"Because of what happened to our baby."

He looked at the girl. She was about three years old. When he looked back at Sakura he smiled, "What are you talking about?" Sasuke said, "Nothing happened to her. She's fine. She's perfect."

The girl curled up on Sasuke's lap and fell asleep. Sasuke stroked the child's hair.

"What's her name?" He asked.

"She doesn't have a name."

"We should have at least named her." He said.

"We didn't know she existed."

**Xxxx**

Sasuke woke up the next day. He didn't get up. He didn't get dressed. He didn't do anything except try to get back to sleep but he couldn't. He couldn't shut down his mind. He didn't speak. He didn't think. He just lay there, wasting away the day, too lazy to even get up and take a hit of cocaine.

He wondered if he would've been a good father but even he had to admit that he would have been terrible. He would be just like his own father.

But maybe, he could've done it. Maybe he would've gotten it right. He would never know. He was robbed of the chance.

"Sakura!" He called out. "SAKURA!"

There was no answer, just a brief touch on his arm that made him jump. He looked around and saw Sakura. She smiled at him.

"Sakura," He muttered, reaching over to touch her face but his hand passed right through her. It unnerved him and when he tried to touch her again, it happened again.  
"Sakura… why can't I touch you?"

She didn't speak. She just smiled sadly.

"SAKURA!" He yelled. She didn't even flinch.

He clamoured out of bed. When he looked back at her, she hadn't even moved. He walked to his drawer and took out his gun.

He looked it as he enfolded it elegantly in his spider-like fingers. Suddenly everything was moving so fast, so bright, like electricity. Sasuke's world pulsed, throbbed violently and screamed, shrieked, at him but he felt so small. He felt like he was going to be torn to shreds in his whirlpool world.

He pointed the gun at Sakura.

"Why won't you answer me?" He shouted but she didn't move, "SAKURA! LOOK AT ME!"

She turned, slowly, unnervingly. She looked at Sasuke and her emerald eyes burnt their way from her skull.

It was Sakura. It wasn't Sakura at all.

Sasuke blinked, "I can't remember how you look like anymore."

He knew this wasn't what she looked like but he couldn't remember how she looked like in the first place. He just knew it was wrong.

"I-I can't do this anymore," He muttered.

"I'm fading, aren't I? You're forgetting me. You're letting me go." Sakura said in a voice that did not belong to her.

"I don't want to. I don't want to forget you. I can't let you go." He said, "I won't."

"How can you stop it?" she said.

He pulled the trigger and was just in time to hear Sakura scream, "NO!" before she toppled backwards, spreadeagle, on the bed as a blossom of blood grew from under her, rippling over the white sheets.

Sasuke shook violently. He was white and had a chilling fever sweat beaded over his skin. He was hyperventilating but he hadn't noticed yet. He started laughing maniacally. It was the only substitute for crying and he wouldn't let himself cry.

Suddenly, there was a pain in his stomach that made him fall to his knees. He fell on his palms and coughed up blood. He touched his chest and his fingers came dipped in blood. He fell on his side and the gun he had been holding to stomach cluttered to the floor.

**a/n: Was that dark? I really can't tell anymore. Hope You liked it. I just want to say that everytime someone reviews I do a weird happy dance which, as a matter of fact, is the only exercise I ever really get…. **

**No regrets? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

Naruto woke up that morning, feeling uneasy. He didn't like the way Sasuke had been talking yesterday. He wished more than anything that he hadn't told him about Sakura's baby now. How could Sasuke have possibly found it out? Naruto was the only person who had ever known and he hadn't told a soul.

Since Naruto couldn't shake this uneasy feeling, he decided to stop over at Sasuke's early that morning. He knocked on the door and waited. As the seconds stretched, Naruto only got more worried. He tried the door knob and his heart sank when it swung open.

Naruto stepped in the apartment. It was silent. It felt like no one had lived in there for centuries.

"Sasuke?" He called out but there was no answer. He continued to tread through the dark apartment until he swung open the door that led to Sasuke room.

Naruto saw him lying on the floor, a mattered pool of blood surrounding him in patches and a gun lay next to him like a black stain.

"SASUKE!" Naruto yelled and raced next to Sasuke. Naruto shook him until he opened his dazed, onyx eyes. Sasuke opened and closed his dry, cracked lips.

"Hang on, Sasuke," Naruto said, "I'll call an ambulance."

He moved to get up but Sasuke grabbed his sleeve, "Please. No."

"Sasuke, you're dying!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke looked at Naruto and said, "Then let me die."

"No."

Naruto dialled the ambulance, frantically punching in the number into his phone. It took fifteen minutes for it to arrive and all that time, Naruto was shaking as he held bloodied towels on the wound in Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke hissed and complained. Naruto didn't even want to think about how long Sasuke had been lying there, ever so slowly bleeding to death.

"Listen to me. You're going to get through this. You're going to get through all of this. You're going to survive this… this suicidal thing and you're going to survive Sakura's death. I promise you."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, his eyes glazed and said, "I don't want to," He said and his eyes close. Naruo shook his shoulder frantically, thinking that Sasuke had died. He felt for Sasuke's pulse and felt it beating slightly below his pale flesh.

They carted Sasuke off in a white and red ambulance just like they had Sakura. Naruto rode in the ambulance with Sasuke but he was pushed aside when Sasuke was taken in for an emergency operation.

As Naruto sat in the waiting room, just like he had when Sakura got in the accident, he found himself regretting ever getting involved in the twisted young couple. He had been stuck in the middle since the beginning. Sakura died because of Sasuke and now, Sasuke might die because of Sakura. The whole affair had been so twisted and now it was rapidly unravelling yet still, Naruto would always be in the middle of it.

A doctor walked up to him and Naruto stood up. The doctor looked at Naruto and smiled,

"He's going to be okay. It was touch and go there for a moment but he pulled through. He's lost a lot of blood though and I'm going to keep him here for at least two weeks for observation. Also, I was wondering how he got shot?"

Naruto paused for a moment then said, "He shot himself."

The doctor frowned, "In the stomach? Was he trying to commit suicide?"

"I don't think so," Naruto said, "At least not consciously. You see, his girlfriend died about three weeks ago and I think it drove him a little insane."

"A little? He shot himself in the stomach." The doctor said and sighed again, "okay, this changes some things. If he is suicidal then I would like to release him into somebody's care. Does he have any family?"

Naruto shook his head, "Not that I know of. Would it be okay if you released him into my care?"

"Sure. Keep him away from sharp objects and guns though. I don't want to see him back here."

"Thanks for everything, Doctor."

The doctor nodded and walked away. Naruto made his way to Sasuke's room and opened the door. Sasuke was awake, his head lying to one side as he stared stubbornly at the wall. His chest was covered in bandages.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked but Sasuke just ignored him, "Are you okay?"

Sasuke remained silent.

"I'm sorry about what happened to you. I'm so sorry she died."

Sasuke's facial features twitched.

"Why do you have to do this to yourself?' Naruto asked.

Sasuke slowly turned to face Naruto. He blinked, running through his raven hair.

"I…" He muttered, "I don't really want to survive this. I don't want to just 'get over her'. I want to be in love with her, always. I don't want Sakura to just become this person I used to know."

He closed his eyes, "I don't want to forget her.

Naruto looked at him and said, "You're never going to stop, are you? You're never going to just let her go. You're never going to let yourself be happy again."

"No. I won't because that would be so much worse."

Naruto nodded. He took an injection out of the inner pocket of his jacket. There was some clear liquid inside it. He uncapped it and squirted some liquid out to avoid air bubbles.

"What's that?" Sasuke asked.

"It's heroin," Naruto said, "I think it would be best if you didn't do through withdrawal."

"Wait," Sasuke said, "You've always been so against my drug habits. Why are you suddenly supporting them?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke knowingly and made him fall silent. Sasuke held out his arm and let Naruto push the injection into his veins. Sasuke could feel the substance run through his veins. He smiled at Naruto.

Naruto put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, "Goodbye, Sasuke."

"Goodbye," Sasuke muttered slowly. His vision was blurred making it look like Naruto had four heads. He watched as the image of Naruto faded away and everything around him compressed into black.

As Naruto left the room, he heard the machine monitoring Sasuke's heart give out a panicked shrill. Doctors and nurses immediately ran to Sasuke and Naruto watched from the door as they tried to save Sasuke's life. There was a long, monotone beep from the machine and all the white coats paused.

"Call it," Someone said.

"Time of death, ten forty-six am."

When Naruto looked at Sasuke again, it looked like he was only sleeping. Naruto turned around and walked away. He didn't stop until he was outside the hospital then he knelt over, holding his stomach, and heaved but nothing came out. He wanted to cry but he didn't have the energy. He couldn't believe he just did that. He had never, not in a million years, imagined he would do such a thing.

The clear liquid in the injection wasn't heroin, not at all.

"Naruto?"

He jumped and looked around and saw Sakura, clear as day, leaning on a wall behind him.

"Oh god," Naruto muttered, "I'm going mad."

Sakura laughed, "No. You're not. I just wanted to thank you."

"For what?" Naruto said, "Killing Sasuke?"

"For having mercy."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "I'm talking to myself."

Sakura walked up to him and put her arms around his shoulders.

"Don't you think it's fantastic," She said, "The things you would do for the people you love."

"Like kill them?" Naruto said.

"In my opinion, that's the most profound act of love there is. When it gets that bad and the only thing left that would make them happy is to die and then you give it to them, well, but a beautiful way to die."

Naruto closed his eyes and when he opened them, Sakura was gone. He walked away from the hospital and didn't look back.

**AN: And that's how it ends. I'm not sure if its happy or sad. Honestly, I couldn't care less. That's your decision. Hope you liked it though, please review. **


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